Duets in 155 Words or Less
by Kristi
Summary: In 155 words or less, Bert & Maddie in an elevator; David & Agnes dance; Agnes consoles Maddie; David & Maddie bicker.
1. Playtime

"Playtime."

"We could play a word game, Miss Hayes." 

"A word game, Mr. Viola?" 

"Despite the hour or so we have to look forward to of staring at same four walls of this elevator, we can provide our own mental stimulation to help pass the time." 

Heavy sigh. 

"Miss Hayes?" 

"Very well, Mr. Viola." 

"Do you have a game in mind?" 

"I couldn't care less." 

"Oh. May I suggest Twenty Questions, a time-honored—" 

"Fine. You go first." 

"Ladies first is my credo." 

"Animal, vegetable, or mineral?" 

"That isn't a yes or no – " Quickly: "None of the above." 

"Is it a thing?" 

"Not as such." 

"Do you know when it's there?" 

"One hopes so." 

"Have I ever experienced it?" 

"Certainly." 

"Can a person create it?" 

"Yes." 

"Destroy it?" 

"Such misfortunes occur." 

"Can you feel it?" 

"Yes." 

"But can't touch it?" 

"Correct." 

"Is it an emotion?" 

"Not precisely." 

"Can it involve more than one person?" 

"Always." 

"More than two?" 

"Quite frequently." 

"Mr. Viola?" 

"Yes, Miss Hayes?" 

"Is it friendship?" 

"Yes." 

Smile. 

end   



	2. Family

_Note: AU. Let's pretend her wedding wasn't a disaster._

"Family" 

David approaches the bride, surrounded by a gaggle of lavender-sheathed sisters. "Mrs. Viola, may I?" 

Agnes flashes a smile, and he introduces her to the sprightly Dean Martin number with a swift twirl-and-dip maneuver. 

"How long's the honeymoon?" 

"We'll be gone for two weeks." 

He whistles. "It's gonna take Inez that long to figure out your message system. We're gonna miss you." 

Smile. "I'll be home soon." 

They dance. 

"So you really love this palooka, huh?" 

Agnes grins. "He's my palooka." 

"He ever gives you any trouble, I'll meet him on the playground after the last bell for you." 

Agnes' giggle is like a bell. 

David takes in her Hayes-applied makeup, tamed hair dotted with white blossoms, her grandmother's hand-sewn dress. His eyes are soft. 

"Mr. Addison?" 

"I just feel like I'm giving away my little sister." 

"Oh, Mr. Addison!" She hugged him as if propelled by springs. "You'll always be my little brother!" 

end   



	3. Tea and Oprah

"Tea and Oprah"

The storm flipped umbrellas inside out and ruined Armani suits. 

Oprah's guest wept on Maddie's seldom-used TV. 

Agnes handed Maddie the hot, fragrant beverage. 

"Thank you, Agnes. How sweet of you." 

"Anytime, Miss Hayes." 

Magenta sandals joined sensible pumps on the floor and the two women curled into opposite ends of the couch. 

"Why am I watching this?" Maddie wondered vaguely. "There's got to be something of quality on . . . something with a respectable agenda." 

They sipped their tea. 

"Did that memo go out?" 

"Yep." 

"Fiscal '88 backed up on the Macintosh?" 

"Yep." 

Rain spattered the window behind them; the office's soft, pink glow embraced them. 

"It's kind of comforting," Agnes suggested, "that no matter how weird your problems are, you aren't interesting enough to need Oprah to solve them." 

"That's always nice to know." 

"_After the break: 'I'm Having His Baby – In Another State!' on our Is Our Love too Weird to Last? week._" 

Maudlin sigh. 

"I just found out my cousin was switched at birth had an affair with a long-lost twin, and now they're both pregnant with the same man's baby." 

Pause. 

"Thank you, Agnes." 

Giggles. 

end   
  



	4. He Makes Her Laugh

_Note: AU story. They have a daughter._

"He Makes Her Laugh" 

Their child's cries filled the outer office. 

Maddie was on her feet in a second, slamming through her office door, assessing the situation. David was holding a bag of ice to their sobbing four-year-old's knee. 

"What the hell happened?" 

David looked startled. "She's fine, she bumped her leg--" 

Maddie took the ice from him. "Sweetie, what hurts?" 

"I told you she's fine." 

"David, a child needs to be watched by a mature and responsible—" 

"She just has a little bump!" 

Their child was inconsolable. 

David sang suddenly, "_'Jem! Truly outrageous!'_ " Maddie stared as he spun, whirled, sang tunelessly in imitation of their child's favorite cartoon chick rock star. 

Chagrined, Maddie surveyed her staff, their expressions ranging from annoyance to covert mocking; kiddie punk was _not_ cool like limbo. 

David played air-guitar with effeminate flair. 

Their child laughed. 

"David!" Her husband froze. "You're a terrific dad." 

end 

Thanks to Pam and Liz for their wonderful beta help.   
  



End file.
